How to live from an open heart? What does it mean to live according to your heart? Compliance is not always correct.

Good evening, fellow readers!

Today, after a long break, I enter the ring. Today I will comment on the real battle that is taking place among people. The battle / Game that takes place in each of us - the battle of the heart with the mind or the mind with the heart.

This topic has been nesting in my head for many months, but I couldn’t start it until today, because I realized that I myself had not yet won this battle. And now - at the end of this beautiful year - bam, it happened! Victory! My heart finally won the game and defeated my mind with a score of 2:5. Having made a tactful blow, my heart soaked my mind.

But, it's a beautiful preface. And for those who do not understand what I mean, I want to tell you in more detail. I noticed a strange thing - this is a conditional division of people into two camps. Some people live with the MIND - this is the body that controls their life, they do everything with the mind, make plans, work, love, even have sex with the mind ... But there is another camp - those who live with the HEART and, in principle, do the same thing, but in a completely different way . Being on both sides, and in general as a person suffering from the “Woe from Wit” disease, I am proud that I have passed this path and finally established myself somewhere where the chest is located.

I want to note that I am not against the MIND, I'm just saying that you need to be aware of it, be aware of what is happening in your head. Mind is needed in order to work, count, create a business and generate ideas. Everything. And you need to live with your HEART.

After doing a little research. I have collected some data on which you can determine, maybe even wonder which side you are now playing your life on! During this summer, life has shown me many examples of different people from different barricades. There are those who constantly live only with the HEART and have already forgotten how to live with the MIND, (for them it is “subdued” for work purposes. But there are those who live only with the mind, about the heart, not with sleep or spirit. And there are those who jump from one state to another... I don't know for whom I am writing this article - for all people who are interested in development within themselves. Who wants to feel more and come to LOVE through life with their hearts. It's just that the heart was created for love ....

Let's start with a description of the advantages of living "HEART":

  • "Life without limits" You need courage to live with your heart, because then you are not afraid of anything, then you give up all the boundaries and frameworks of society and just fly through life ... There is no flight with the mind, it only calculates options and does not trust anyone except yourself. The mind does not trust existence/God and thinks it is smarter. What is he building all his life. That he is in charge. What happens to him, only what he wants. At the same time, the mind needs insurance, evidence, it will not believe a miracle until it sees it! These are people of science until they see a miracle with their own eyes, they do not believe in it, the mind will not let them believe. Again, boundaries.
  • « Trust Life» An open heart completely trusts itself and its life to God. Therefore, when a person of "heart" has a problem, he does not try to solve it, with all his limited abilities of the mind, but offers God to solve it. And the problem is miraculously solved. This is trust in what is happening. You accept your life, and you know that this is the best thing that can happen to you at this moment. And you are totally in it. You do not live it, but you live breathing in every breath! The mind, on the other hand, will usually calculate what is best, how to act, how to get out of the game and solve the problem on its own, the mind does not believe in life. He is constantly preoccupied with something in his head / “box”, and God bless him!
  • "Do only what you love". A man of "Heart" cannot do what he does not like! He cannot go where he feels bad, or communicate with those who are not pleasant to him. He cannot deceive himself. The mind will always find a hundred thousand excuses and still make you do what you do not want. There is always little money for the mind, there is always little attention, there is always little and little ... Therefore, it is ready to do anything for the sake of receiving .... When you live with your "heart", it is difficult to deceive yourself, to rape yourself - to do what you don’t want and live as you don’t want to! I can no longer betray my insides, betray myself!
  • "See the whole." If a person lives by the mind, then he sees only two facets - good or bad. Since the mind always sees opposites, it sticks these black and white labels on everything around. If you live by the "Heart" - you see the whole person. How do you look FOR all these labels and designations - you look deep into. Maybe for your mind today it is good, and tomorrow it is bad, but this is only superficial for you. You really see only his essence. And you love this person so that he does not fulfill. Seeing it as a whole, you do not split it into parts. He is whole.
  • "Live here and now" A person who lives “by the mind” finds it very difficult for him to accept reality as it is. He'll say, "No, why did this happen to me?" Man cannot live in the present! Live in the moment! He is constantly mentally thrown either into the past or into the future. It is also better for his mind - a lot of expanses of memories and a good life in the future. And so it goes on - a good future does not come. The man of the "Heart" lives in the moment. He is this moment. Live and real. He breathes it. The heart is breathing. The heart always lives in the present. If you wash the dishes, then you are 100% washing the dishes, and you don’t worry about tomorrow’s meeting and so on. Living here and now is the most powerful practice for understanding yourself and your life. The heart experiences different states. But it experiences them in the present. Tomorrow they may not be. Everything changes. Birth and Death, Happiness and Sadness, all states change like waves. And the Heart does not stick in one state, plunging into it and in the suffering pangs of sadness, for example, while spending time! The heart lives this, but knows that everything will change soon. Therefore, there is no sticking to situations, people, places.

If you sink into intrusive thoughts, you avoid what is. You don't want to be where you arrive. Here and Now. The present moment is what it is. Always. Do you allow him to be like this? E. Tolle.

Can you determine if there is even the slightest element of unwillingness in you to do what you are doing? So there is a denial of life - and then a truly successful result is impossible. (E. Tolle)

  • "The heart knows everything." He does not need to rush somewhere with questions to fortune-tellers, various enlightened personalities. The heart itself knows the answer to its questions. The mind usually does not know, it is looking for people who will say what it wants to hear. And the Heart is just silent and waiting for you to talk to him about what you want to know!
  • “The heart is not afraid of loss. It's free". Knowing that death takes people, it simply loves in the present. The heart is not painfully attached to things, people and places. The heart lives in a stream, getting somewhere, communicating with someone, the Heart lives in the present situation and floats on. Knowing that everything ends there, and then there will be something new.

Get out of your head and into your heart.

Think less and feel more.

Do not get attached to thoughts, immerse yourself in sensations... Then your heart will come to life OSHO

Many people live in the mind, they are, as it were, in this small box, which itself does not understand what is happening. They are not conscious, the processes taking place around are not conscious. It's like a closed system! You need to get out of your mind - this is a system, a script! Already realizing this, you can move into the space of the “Heart”. And now a few notes about Mind:

  • The mind constantly compares itself with neighbors, classmates and other supposedly successful people, and gets upset if it doesn’t have one ... Moreover, the mind sticks very deeply on this disorder, it is directly corroded from the inside, and it constantly chews it inside itself - sucking it.
  • The mind lives in the past, each time telling the same stories about itself, chewing and experiencing those states of the past, it seems that the whole life of these people has remained in the past ... They live in the future, saying that here and after they buy a car or they will find a new job, everything will begin for them ... a new life! And nothing starts!
  • Mind is too serious about everything that happens around, any problem in life and experience is too much isolated from a person .... he sees and hears nothing but his problems. He only talks about this. Constantly. The mind, like one record, spins it in a circle many many times!
  • The mind is very important what others think of it. Because the mind is a system. He can't go out and do something special. What matters is what others say.
  • Mind is constantly not happy with what it is, and is always looking for cons in situations and people around! Favorite topic is to find something bad in a situation that was a couple of years ago in the past and procrastinate it for a long time! And experience all this in a new way in the mind or telling someone in all colors and emotions.
  • To any proposal to change something in his life, the UM says “No, it’s not for me, it’s too difficult.” And so that they don’t offer the “unfortunate” he finds excuses and stands on his truth! After all, his "truth" is more important than even his relationship with you.
  • UM considers that everyone owes him, but he does not want to give anything himself!
  • The mind is constantly in a state of “suffering” and experiences for various reasons (often for trifling things), only in rare moments can it relax and enjoy life from the outside.
  • Mind cannot be alone for a long time - with itself. He needs someone to communicate - to listen to his experiences and claims to life and others! Or just talk to someone about something...
  • The mind is afraid of loss. Afraid of death. Clenching everything in its tense fingers, the mind is afraid to let go - situations, people, things, places. The mind is always attached to something.
  • The mind loves to deny. He likes to discuss someone, to say that someone has something bad, that someone is not dressed like that, in principle, such a search for shortcomings. And if you drop deep, then it becomes sad. The mind does this in conjunction with the EGO. At the moment of discussion and finding mistakes in someone, the ego swells and the mood rises ..

It seems to me that a big process of evolution is underway and people are moving to another stage of development - this is life with the “Heart”. I am sure that only by living life totally on the heart, you can make REAL DISCOVERIES, PROJECTS, CREATE SOMETHING with a huge potential of love, you can LOVE REALLY without attachments and wild karmic passion, and only on the HEART you can find heaven on earth - harmony and tranquility within oneself, the unity of oneself and God. The heart gives you the opportunity to truly live, feeling what is happening around you to your fingertips, to be in this flow of a beautiful life. The heart makes it possible to love deeply and unconditionally, selflessly and purely!

And the most important thing is that only an open heart makes it possible to merge with God, to become him, to become a part of him, to merge with this huge stream of Love. Recognize in him your Great Father, realizing that everything is in his power. At this moment you are not alone, you are part of one big project. Big Universe. Where the main key to happiness and this waterfall of love from above is the HEART!

I am sure that the day will come and we will all feel real, big, universal LOVE through our little hearts!

Thank you for your time! That's all.

Please read with your heart, not with your mind) I know that there are a lot of mistakes!

To be continued….

Miss Mysteriosa.

My Instagram

Attic - all that has been accumulated:

Select month May 2019 (1) April 2019 (1) March 2019 (2) February 2019 (1) January 2019 (3) December 2018 (1) August 2016 (1) September 2015 (1) May 2015 (1) December 2014 ( 1) June 2014 (1) February 2014 (1) December 2013 (1) October 2013 (1) March 2013 (1) December 2012 (1) November 2012 (1) December 2011 (1) May 2011 (1) April 2011 ( 1) March 2011 (2) February 2011 (2) January 2011 (3) December 2010 (1) November 2010 (3) October 2010 (4) September 2010 (4) August 2010 (8)

About the blog author:

I am such a woman, like the whole universe! Endless and with small hidden corners, I myself sometimes forget about them at night .. There are so many ideas in my sky, like stars snatch them when they fall ... There are so many rivers, lakes, seas and the beauty of water that flows in me smoothly and gently bending around others, it reaches the ocean ... There is so much air in me that it’s impossible to breathe, and in the spring it is all the more breathtaking from a new life that gives sprouts ... There is so much love in me that in a hundred lives I won’t convey this warmth and care just like that, because there is no end and beginning .. There is so much of me in me, different, always incomprehensible, but to someone clear, sometimes with white wings, sometimes on a broomstick with her hair loose .. Always on the go. .on the road..to myself and to people...and only to him I want to fall into his arms, stop and merge with the universe equal to me until the end of my days....

Fresh and healthy...

  • 13.05.2019
  • 03.04.2019
  • 23.03.2019
  • 01.03.2019

Six months ago I was very inspired by this excerpt from VKontakte, and I really wanted to live as they say here:

The Power of an Open Heart..
Why is it important to open your heart?
Only the Open Heart has the Power, Love and Wisdom, balanced by a direct connection with the Higher Self, in order to overcome human mental limitations and gross emotional attachments within itself. Being in an open heart, we are in the energies of Unity, we feel the well-being of life...

While we are in our Heart, we are fully able to control our own life, to be aware of our own thoughts and feelings, and on their basis to plan and develop life. Your Best Life.

As soon as we fall out of the energy of the Heart, succumbing to the provocations of the ego, we no longer own ourselves and our lives. But we are actively beginning to own any external force. The center of our energy is automatically shifted from the Heart to the lower energy centers (chakras).
While we are in the Heart, our energy is Concentrated, Holistic, permeated with subtle sensations of Grace, and Consciousness - with Crystalline Clarity.

As soon as we allow energy to shift to the periphery of us, it begins to dissipate into nowhere, and becomes a breeding ground for gross emotions. When our Heart closes, we cannot stay in the “Here and Now” state, we are not able to feel the joy and beauty of life... Our consciousness at such moments walks somewhere in the past, chewing on the same memories all the time, as a rule, delivering us mental pain and internal torment. Through this prism we look at the outside world, which seems to us just as distorted ... "

Two years ago, I heard a lot about the need to live with the heart, not with the mind. That life with the heart is a direct path to the development of intuition, just a high-speed highway of life, because you are constantly in the flow. Life with the heart is also a real female path of development - you don’t make a lot of efforts, you don’t set a hard goal, you just set a goal and follow the dictates of your heart and everything lines up for you and falls into your hands. I understood all this - but I simply could not imagine HOW to live with my heart, and not with my mind! It was just fantastic for me! I have a strong analytical mind, which is used to analyzing everything, weighing, comparing, drawing conclusions and how to shut it up and hear the heart - I had no idea at all!

But just the other day, I lived for several days next to a girl who constantly lives with her mind and, in contrast to her, I realized that Hurray, I live completely with my heart !!! I saw on it how much more difficult life is from the mind and how much my lifestyle now differs from what it was before! I realized that without noticing this myself, I came to what I once really wanted - I completely live with the feeling of the heart, and only sometimes I turn on the brain and it’s easy for me to switch from the chatter of the mind to the heart. My life is spontaneous and subject to feelings and I am almost always in the flow - and I have excellent results! How did I come to this? Now, rewinding the last two years ago and mentally reviewing my steps, I will bring out my algorithm for you - how I moved from life in my mind to my heart

We are accustomed to live exclusively "in the mind." At school, we are taught to think, our parents said “think when you do it”, mental efforts are praised everywhere, and how to live in the heart is not clear at all! And it’s also very scary – how can you let go of the grip of control? What will happen then if I stop thinking and analyzing everything, and follow some intuition/feelings? What if this will lead me into complete chaos, will my whole life fly down a slope?

Fear is the first barrier. But here you need to understand that you have always lived with the mind, and what has this life led you to? Does she suit you at the moment? If yes, then continue to live with the mind, then this is your path to success. If not, then in order to get DIFFERENT results in life, you need to try OTHER actions that are not characteristic of you, new ones, which will lead you to NEW RESULTS in life. And as an experiment, trust LIFE and YOURSELF, let go of control and analysis and see what happens! I was not afraid and tried - and my results make me happy!

Suppose you realized, came to the conclusion that you need to start living with your heart, and not with your mind, but you don’t know how to do it. The mind cannot be shut up, the only way is to switch attention, shift the focus from thoughts to feelings. When a swarm of thoughts, doubts arises, you plunge into the jungle of analysis and comparison (“mental chewing” of the situation) - you need to switch to feeling! This means - listen to yourself, listen to your body (feelings, sensations)! It is in a state of comfort and pleasure for the body, doing what you love, you can hear the whisper of intuition. I have a whole course dedicated to how to learn to listen and hear your body, accept and love it, which will be available to everyone in August.

And every decision, every turn in life - you listen to your body! Even listening to the body helped me find my purpose! For example, you have a choice between one job offer and another, you imagine the development of the situation, how you are already working THERE, and pay attention to your feelings in the body - is it comfortable for you there or not, the body will always tell you!

The second is to follow your feelings - if when talking with a person you experience discomfort, unwillingness to say or do something, to cooperate with him at all - this is your intuition signaling to you that you should not go there! And if you have inspiration and enthusiasm, then you definitely should try it, even if you have never done anything like this, a breakthrough awaits you there! And do not be afraid of mistakes - in any case, you will gain invaluable experience.

And if suddenly there is a spontaneous desire to do something - call an old friend, go to the place where you have been planning for a long time, climb on the site - go and do it right away, without delay, this is definitely a signal of your intuition!

There is no need to be afraid of emotional failures and laziness if the body does not want anything and you indulge it in doing nothing (these are normal states, you cannot feel joy if there is no melancholy at all) - this is an indicator that the body is undergoing a transformation, it is integrating new skills or getting rid of fears, and that is why it suddenly wants to rest! There is a transition to a new level, and it takes time to adjust your physical body to a new level of life. Give him a rest, give yourself time to be lazy, and you will see how much faster and easier you will then do everything that you had planned!

As it should, after spending 30 minutes just for your own pleasure, basking in the buzz that you are resting - then you will move mountains in an hour! Just don’t fool yourself - if you lie and do nothing, but at the same time mentally saw yourself that you are a lazy person and so many things have not been done yet - this is not rest, but mental criticism and it will not bring you either joy or energy! It is necessary to totally live this moment of relaxation in enjoyment - it is then that you will be surprised at your results!

Listen to yourself, trust yourself and life, and you will come to results that you could not even imagine living in your mind! This thesis is confirmed not only by my personal experience, but also by the experience of my clients, whose life is changing!

Living with the heart is not something sentimental. To live with the heart means the position of a student, it is to understand that no one owes me anything. To live with the heart is to understand - in my opinion it will not happen, that time is the will of God. I am a student of love. Return yourself to this position each time. And it will never be automatic, never. Envy will come out again on the machine - I deserve a better share. And again, to put yourself back in place, this is a practice. In addition, the heart is the embassy of the spiritual world. Therefore, we all need to learn meditation, prayer practice. Not a religious ritual, but sincere meditation.

choose a question topic--------------- Family relations Children and parents Love Friendship Sex, intimate life Health Appearance and beauty Interpersonal conflicts Internal conflict Crisis states Depression, apathy Fears, phobias, anxiety Stresses, traumas Grief and loss Addictions and habits Choosing a profession, career The problem of the meaning of life Personal growth Motivation and success Relations with a psychologist Another question

asks: Christina

Good afternoon. I found this site, decided to look and saw that there is an opportunity to write and talk with a psychologist. I myself am crazy about psychology, moreover, I study this science, but when it comes to my problems, all knowledge wave and run away from me. Dear psychologists, the fact is that I am a closed person and sometimes this is the root of all troubles. Inside I feel a lot and, in some magical way, I can mask everything and no one can ever understand that I am actually a very sensitive person. Everyone thinks that I'm like a stone: it's impossible to hurt. But we know that every person has a weak link. I always solve problems with my mind, not my heart. For example, there was a case when a young man wanted to get close, start a relationship. The heart insisted to agree, and the mind said - love is chemistry, you don’t need to climb! And again in his personal life - only crickets sing. How to fight? Because of this, my relatives hurt me very much and say that I don’t have a heart ... but from pain it can really go out ... Thank you!

Answers and advice from psychologists

Psychologist-psychoanalyst

I am a psychologist of a psychoanalytic school. In 2005 I graduated from the East European Institute of Psychoanalysis in St. Petersburg. Specialization - clinical psychologist-psychoanalyst. I am engaged in private practice. Practical experience in the specialty - 14 years.

Online consultations

By e-mail

Personal meetings

Hello. Christina. Thank you for stopping by. You are right, emotions are hot, and on the outside you are stone. Since you do not trust these emotions to relatives and friends. Because your level of trust is low. This difficulty is a consequence of the dominant upbringing in the early years. When trust in yourself appears (I am a princess, I am precious and adored by myself), almost simultaneously there will be trust in others (You are as good as I am).

Only then will your emotional openness to other people appear. And you will begin to receive, trusting them, warmth and resonant response to your actual experiences. You will finally be understood, and life will sparkle with a palette of sunny colors. Such a positive chain can be built, for example, in personal therapy with a specialist psychologist. I specialize in this area and could help. Contact.



Psychologist

Practical psychologist, trainer, coach. over 15 years of successful practice. I individually select techniques and tools for each client. I identify the root causes of problems, subconscious fears and destructive beliefs.

Online consultations

Chat on site

Personal meetings

Hello Christina!
There is no need to fight with yourself, it is better to accept yourself and understand what is the reason for your closeness? What benefit does it bring to you, since despite all the difficulties you cannot part with it in any way. You probably know many ways to become a more open person, but there are internal blocks that prevent you from doing this. This happens on a subconscious level, otherwise you would immediately find the cause yourself and see many ways to become more open. It is possible to deal with this on your own, but it can be a long process, which may be accompanied by internal resistance. It will be faster and more efficient if you carry out this work with a psychologist.

Live with the mind or the heart? Basically, this information will be useful to those who do not consider divination on Tarot cards to be something unworthy (stupid, forbidden, etc.). For those who are looking for any specific methods, technologies, techniques, methods, etc. this article will be of little help. Is it just "for introductory reading".

All statements on the topic "to live with one's own mind", "to live with someone else's mind", one way or another are connected with the concepts of "manipulation" and "live with the heart".

What is "manipulation" in a relationship

In order not to mislead you, it should be mentioned that the word "manipulation" has other meanings associated with the use of any tools or mechanisms. For example, "medical manipulation" - something is done to a person using medical instruments or devices.

But we are interested in manipulations related to human relationships.

In simple words, without academic “behind the mind”, manipulation can be called any influence, including verbal (speech), aimed at obtaining consent to do something (or, conversely, not to do something), as well as in order to cause the victim needs the reaction that the manipulator needs, EXCEPT for a direct request (instructions, orders, orders, etc.) for a person to act contrary to HIS own will (desires, goals, beliefs, intentions, etc.). To the detriment of their OWN interests.

A direct consequence of this definition of the concept of "manipulation"

If you were given an order (even if you do not want to carry it out) - this is not manipulation.

If a third person was CLEARLY asked to leave the room, because the other two need (for some reason) to be alone, without prying eyes and ears (“Leave us alone, we need to confer,” and at the same time people really need to confer) - it's not manipulation either.

A friend asks “not for service, but for friendship” - give up this girl, otherwise you are no longer my friend. The situation entirely falls into the category of "you are being manipulated by friends." You are invited to a party, and you have exams on your nose. You refuse, and in response you hear - Come on, you decided to break away from your friends ?!

Men and women often manipulate each other in relationships. Through sex, for example.

Live by mind or heart

Ever since people have discovered that they have a mind, and more or less learned how to use it, humanity has faced an insoluble problem. Thousands of religious and philosophical volumes have been written on the topic of how to live correctly. Basically, the recommendations come down to the fact that it is better to live with the heart. And finally you don’t need to use your mind - this demonic invention is UM. You don't have to use it. You live with your heart, and we WILL THINK FOR YOU where (to what) to direct your “soul’s wonderful impulses”

It’s good when someone who really thinks FOR him (takes care of his interests), and not AGAINST him (takes care of observing only his own interests at the expense of those who live exclusively with their hearts) lives next to such a “cordial” person.

Live with your heart, not with your head

In my opinion, S. Marshak solved this dilemma best of all in his poetic wish to friends. I will quote one quatrain from this congratulation:

"Let every day and every hour
You will get a new one.
May your mind be good
And the heart will be smart

Live not with your heart, but with your head

It is likely that this problem is generally impossible to solve in principle. Because it's worded in the wrong way. But that's a completely different story. Perhaps we will return to it someday.

We, for our purpose, need to recognize that manipulations in people's relationships exist. It's unavoidable. I emphasize once again - the existence of human society without manipulation is impossible. And, since, according to statistics, people who live with their hearts (emotional people) become victims of manipulation more often, it is obvious that in this respect it is better to live with your head. Live with your heart where it is safe. Among those people who have no desire to manipulate you.

Etiquette is part of manipulative techniques. But since it is “legalized,” we do not classify it as manipulation, although in essence it is also manipulation. You want to “grab someone in the face”, but, AGAINST YOUR WILL (desire), you are FORCED to smile at him (shake hands when meeting, talk politely, etc.)

How to learn to manipulate people

There is nothing easier))). Find out the "weak spot" of the victim and put pressure on this weak spot. It can be fears, beliefs, feelings, desires, dreams of a person-victim. There are entire institutions dedicated to finding these weaknesses. If you naively believe that sociological surveys are carried out solely to find out your opinion on any issue, in order to improve the state of affairs in the area in which the survey is conducted, then I have to severely disappoint you. All this is done with completely different, not even so noble and lofty goals.

This is done so that you tell your very fears, hopes, dreams. For what? Well, for example, to use it in advertising (if you buy our coffee maker for 120,000 rubles, then a cup of coffee from this coffee maker will charge you with positive energy for a week), in politicians’ pre-election speeches (to know what, and most importantly, in what terms / phrases is to say that you are "hooked", that you are "caught").

The most shameless manipulators are politicians and advertisers. Learn from them.

How to manipulate people with words

After you have figured out where (in what) a person has a “weak spot”, you have no choice but to start manipulating him with the help of words. You can, of course, first study NLP, or hypnosis techniques, the mechanisms of the human psyche for the possibility of manipulating consciousness, etc. But it is long and expensive. And pretty boring, by the way.

In everyday life, in everyday communication, people, as a rule, make do with “improvised means”. Children generally learn to manipulate their parents much earlier than they learn to speak.

Among the adult population, the most popular tools for manipulation are

  • Misinformation (outright lies)
  • Silence (half-truth, hiding not the whole picture as a whole, but only the most profitable, pleasant parts of it, and the negative is not mentioned at all, or is mentioned in passing) For example, banks are famous for this in Russia. The most unfavorable conditions for the client are usually written at the end in small print. And if you don't ask about them, they won't tell you about them. Because if you were told about them right away, in plain text, then people would use the services of banks much less often.
  • A confusing presentation of the essence of the issue (requests, suggestions) in order to confuse a person, reduce his critical perception of information
  • The use of a large number of incomprehensible words / terms (a person gets the impression that they are talking to him in some kind of gibberish language).
  • Promise impossible things (or things that the manipulator did not originally intend to do)
  • Giving a person false hope (this is a sin of many network companies, various financial pyramids, as well as various religious movements)

As you already understood, any manipulation is somehow based on deception, on misleading a person, in order to get something from a person, taking advantage of his trust, frivolity, etc.

How to avoid manipulation

Unfortunately, you won't be able to completely avoid manipulation. According to statistics, the average person in a modern city is faced with manipulation attempts on average every 8 minutes (!!!) Therefore, the idea of ​​completely avoiding manipulation is a utopia. In addition, you need to understand that manipulations can be (for each specific person) both completely unimportant and carrying very unpleasant consequences.

You have bought large household appliances. You were told it would last you at least 10 years. In fact, it will serve you 9, but without repairs. This is not a tragedy. But if you were told that this is a very reliable technique, and you will be forced to repair it every six months, this is already a more serious problem. Those. manipulation is also different. Some of them may well be overlooked. There is always deceit behind manipulation. If this deception is transparent, and you understand that this is an "innocent lie", and God bless her.

But some of the manipulations can still be avoided.

  • First and foremost, keep your own goals and benefits in focus.
  • Look for inconsistencies / illogicalities
  • Ask again, clarify incomprehensible points
  • Don’t be satisfied with answers like “Let’s not talk about it”, “If you agree, I will explain everything to you later, there is simply no time now”, etc.

They offer you something, ask for something and insist on an immediate response (manipulators often use this technique) - do not make a decision right there. Take a break. Go "powder your nose" - get out of the field of action of the manipulator, hide from his eyes. 5 minutes is enough to come to your senses and make the right decision. In 90% of cases, the correct answer is to tell the manipulator the magic word "NO".

Here you can, which may indicate that you may be a victim of manipulation.

Take a break

This is perhaps the most trouble-free and most reliable way not to become a victim of manipulation. If you are not a manipulator in front of you, they will calmly give you time (albeit not a lot) to think, answer all your questions, including about the negative aspects of their proposal. About risks, about what will happen to you in case of failure, etc.

Take a break and think about whether this could be the case in a world where there is an oversupply of goods, a lack of buyers, and low solvency. O most of the population?

How cards can help

For those who have the skill of divination, it doesn’t matter what, it’s important that you are good at it)) I myself also use this method. And very pleased with the results. And so, you were approached with an offer (with a request), and you are not sure that you need it (for you it is safe, acceptable, profitable, etc.) - what questions can you ask the cards.

If you are too lazy to delve into the details, just take out a few cards (I usually settle for three, but if something needs to be clarified, then I take out additional cards) with a question

Will I be satisfied (satisfied) with the result if I agree.

***If the proposal is not particularly important, then you can limit the time to the very near future. For example, you were invited to a party, for some reason you do not want to go. Accordingly, the question may sound something like this: “When I come home, will I be satisfied if I go for it?” If the answer is "No", you can safely refuse.

But if you are offered to buy an expensive (for your budget) thing, or change jobs, or move to live in another city (in another country) - it makes sense to ask

  • Will I be satisfied/satisfied with the result (thing) in a week
  • Will I be happy / satisfied with the result (thing) in a year
  • Will I be satisfied/satisfied with the result (thing) in 3 (5 or more) years

Do not rush to refuse if you received the answer “No” for one or two positions. Pull out additional cards and find out what the problem is. Perhaps it will be easy to eliminate, or, knowing about it in advance, simply prevent its occurrence.

*** For example, you were offered a new job and in a week you will not be satisfied - quite naturally. New team, new responsibilities, new leadership (or new subordinates).

And in a year, you won't be happy either. Pull out additional cards - see what's wrong? Is it possible to avoid this? If you manage to avoid this, will you then be satisfied with the way things are going in a year?

Manipulations in training sales (courses, trainings, coaching, etc.)

If you received an offer to undergo some kind of training in order to subsequently have a good income (a lot of free time, the opportunity to do what you love, grow spiritually, etc., and on the one hand you want, but on the other hand you are afraid that you will get the declared result - check to what extent your fears are justified.

My checklist

(I made it because I study almost all my life)

The most important thing, in my opinion, is that someone's manipulations do not cause you serious harm, or great disappointment. Everything else is just your experience. Positive, or not very positive.

***

For advice, with questions on training, and with questions about the layouts that are posted on my website write or call me on whatsapp. Or (your message will be sent to my mail immediately, it will not be published on the site). Just enter your valid email. address. Otherwise, my answer will go to “grandfather’s village and you won’t be able to read it.

With respect for your views and your values,
Natalia Vammas.

Remember how often you heard such phrases: “I immediately felt something was wrong”, “I immediately understood”, “My heart told me”, “Everything shrank inside”, and so on.

1", "wrapAround": true, "fullscreen": true, "imagesLoaded": true, "lazyLoad": true , "pageDots": false, "prevNextButtons": false )">

Often such phrases are said after:

something bad happened

- you made the wrong choice,

- it's already been done

You didn't listen to that very heart.

Have you ever wondered where these clues come from? Who tells us and why? Why are we given premonition and intuition? And the last, but, in my opinion, the most important question: why do not we hear and listen to these important clues?

Our body helps us to live in this world! And together with the soul, it ensures the correct presentation of information. Sometimes these are illnesses, ailments, sometimes just premonitions, and sometimes joy. So, if you are joyful, then you are on the right track! If in doubt, turn around.

If the heart hurts, these are accumulated unforgiven grievances that cannot be healed with pills, only forgiveness and letting go. This is our body telling us that we carry with us unnecessary, long-forgotten grievances.

If the stomach hurts, it is, as a rule, malnutrition and an irrational attitude towards oneself and one's health. And pain warns us to pay attention to our diet and our health.

Excess weight is protection from the environment, self-rejection, malnutrition and extreme inattention to yourself.

And if the soul hurts, then this is a lack of love, low self-esteem and even self-hatred. Humiliation of yourself and your dignity. Decreased confidence and lack of inner core, own goals and outlook on life.

Our body is our indicator and guide to the world of a happy and beautiful life.

AND OUR OBJECTIVE IS TO LEARN TO LISTEN TO YOURSELF!

THIS IS A VERY STRONG SKILL THAT A HUMAN IS ABLE TO HAVE. A WOMAN'S INTUITION, AS KNOWN, IS STRONGER THAN A MAN'S.

Listen to your heart, not your mind! Why is it so important to listen to the heart, and not be coldly calculating in reasonable thoughts?

As Louise Jones writes: “The role of the mind is to study and analyze. The role of the heart is to choose and execute. Hearts unite, minds divide.

Only the heart can love, and love is much stronger than logic!

It is love that rules the world, and only real human relationships have value!

Well said Helen Keller: "The best and most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen and heard... they are felt with the heart...".

Pascal echoes it similarly: « .

For example, it’s easier and more joyful for me to give in precisely to my premonitions, my heart, and not to the arguments of reason, because then I will say to myself a hundred times: “After all, I felt that I needed to do it differently, but I didn’t do it ... and now what? !

And after the decision, come what may... And you know, such decisions always bring excellent results. Here is what Ray Bradbury writes about this: “If we begin to listen to the voice of reason, we will never have a love relationship. We will never have friends. We will never do any business because we will decide: "It will not work." Or "She will hurt me." Or “I fell in love unsuccessfully a couple of times, and therefore ...” . All this is nonsense. You must not miss life. Jump off the cliff every time and grow wings as you fly down."

Of course, it’s not worth jumping into the pool with your head. The most ideal option is when both the heart and the mind agree with your choice. And in order to meet such situations more often, you should listen to your heart, be very attentive to the voice of reason and distinguish between information: WHERE the mind speaks to help and suggest, and WHERE to dissuade you not to do what you have never done, just because he is afraid . Reason is given to us to protect us, to keep us safe. Habitual affairs, a stagnant swamp - this is the beloved state of mind.

But if you are a person who knows how to think correctly, a person who is responsible for his life, then learn to control your mind and make sure that his thoughts benefit you, and do not stop you halfway.

And finally - an excerpt from the parable "Mind or Heart ?!":

One day the Heart said quietly to the Mind:

- I think I'm starting to understand what the catch is ... In fact, I always did what you wanted.

The mind looked at the Heart from under its brows:

“Because by doing your own thing, you were losing me.

“When I did my own thing, I was alive!” Doing as you tell me, I die...

- Well, well, tell me: who needs a heart devoid of reason?

Who needs a mind without a heart...

The mind only smiled coldly in response:

- Calm down. I'll definitely come up with something. And no one will ever notice.

I beg you, do not give up the whisper of your heart!

Common sense often drowns out the whispers of the soul. The mind always tries to PROVE its case, while the soul tries to SHIMMONLY object, but the mind INSISTS on its own, relying on "sound reasoning". But the soul does not think, it feels and knows! So learn to listen to yourself! And when you really want to do something, you want it with all your heart, do it, no matter what the cost! Just take it and do it.

I would also like to add that in order to learn to listen to yourself, you just need to start listening. First, start listening to your soul, every day there can be several different sensations in it, work through them, remove aching and pulling sensations. Then, with a long workout, learn to hear the weakest prompts. And as you listen to them more and more, they will come to you more and more often.

Then you can build your life on feelings and act as your heart tells you.

Ekaterina KOVALEVA, psychologist. "Super Style"



Copyright © 2023 Handicraft Portal - Do it with pleasure.